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Writer's pictureStephen Duarte

Themes in Proverbs: Wisdom in Relationships



The book of Proverbs provides the Christian with much-needed wisdom. There are a variety of topics that Proverbs address. Each topic has verses scattered throughout the book. As such, it is helpful to compile these verses to see how Proverbs address these themes. This article is one of several that will provide a thematic compilation and categorization of Proverb verses.


Good Friendship

Steadfast Love

A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. (Prov. 18:24 ESV)


A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity. (Prov. 17:17 ESV)


What is desired in a man is steadfast love, and a poor man is better than a liar. (Prov. 19:22 ESV)


Many a man proclaims his own steadfast love, but a faithful man who can find? (Prov. 20:6 ESV)

 

Earnest Counsel

Oil and perfume make the heart glad, and the sweetness of a friend comes from his earnest counsel. (Prov. 27:9 ESV)

 

Choosing Friends

Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm. (Prov. 13:20 ESV)


Make no friendship with a man given to anger, nor go with a wrathful man, lest you learn his ways and entangle yourself in a snare. (Prov. 22:24-25 ESV)


Trusting in a treacherous man in time of trouble is like a bad tooth or a foot that slips. (Prov. 25:19 ESV)


My son, fear the LORD and the king, and do not join with those who do otherwise, for disaster will arise suddenly from them, and who knows the ruin that will come from them both? (Prov. 24:21, 22 ESV)

 

Relationships with Fools

If a wise man has an argument with a fool, the fool only rages and laughs, and there is no quiet. (Prov. 29:9 ESV)


Let a man meet a she-bear robbed of her cubs rather than a fool in his folly. (Prov. 17:12 ESV)

 

Relationships with Enemies

If your enemy is hungry, give him bread to eat, and if he is thirsty, give him water to drink, for you will heap burning coals on his head, and the LORD will reward you. (Prov. 25:21-22 ESV)

 

Do not rejoice when your enemy falls, and let not your heart be glad when he stumbles, lest the LORD see it and be displeased, and turn away his anger from him.  (Prov. 24:17,18 ESV)

 

Dealing Justly

He who justifies the wicked and he who condemns the righteous are both alike an abomination to the LORD. (Prov. 17:15 ESV)


It is not good to be partial to the wicked or to deprive the righteous of justice.  (Prov. 18:5 ESV)


Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due, when it is in your power to do it. Do not say to your neighbor, "Go, and come again, tomorrow I will give it"-- when you have it with you. (Prov. 3:27-28 ESV)

 

To impose a fine on a righteous man is not good, nor to strike the noble for their uprightness. (Prov. 17:26 ESV)


Be not a witness against your neighbor without cause, and do not deceive with your lips. Do not say, "I will do to him as he has done to me; I will pay the man back for what he has done."  (Prov. 24:28-29 ESV)

 

The Effects of Wealth

Wealth brings many new friends, but a poor man is deserted by his friend.  (Prov. 19:4 ESV)


Many seek the favor of a generous man, and everyone is a friend to a man who gives gifts. All a poor man's brothers hate him; how much more do his friends go far from him! He pursues them with words, but does not have them.  (Prov. 19:6-7 ESV)


The poor is disliked even by his neighbor, but the rich has many friends. Whoever despises his neighbor is a sinner, but blessed is he who is generous to the poor. (Prov. 14:20-21 ESV)


It is important to note that these are principles. Furthermore, one should ask what type of friends are these that only come when someone is wealthy.

 

Generosity

Whoever oppresses a poor man insults his Maker, but he who is generous to the needy honors him. (Prov. 14:31 ESV)

 

Dealing with Strangers

Whoever puts up security for a stranger will surely suffer harm, but he who hates striking hands in pledge is secure. (Prov. 11:15 ESV)

 

Anger

A fool gives full vent to his spirit, but a wise man quietly holds it back. (Prov. 29:11 ESV)


A hot-tempered man stirs up strife, but he who is slow to anger quiets contention. (Prov. 15:18 ESV)

 

A man of great wrath will pay the penalty, for if you deliver him, you will only have to do it again. (Prov. 19:19 ESV)

 

Honesty

Gossip & Slander

A dishonest man spreads strife, and a whisperer separates close friends. (Prov. 16:28 ESV)


A man who bears false witness against his neighbor is like a war club, or a sword, or a sharp arrow. (Prov. 25:18 ESV)

 

Flatterers

Whoever hates disguises himself with his lips and harbors deceit in his heart; when he speaks graciously, believe him not, for there are seven abominations in his heart; though his hatred be covered with deception, his wickedness will be exposed in the assembly. (Prov. 26:24-26 ESV)


A man who flatters his neighbor spreads a net for his feet.

 (Prov. 29:5 ESV)


Whoever blesses his neighbor with a loud voice, rising early in the morning, will be counted as cursing. (Prov. 27:14 ESV)

 

Benefits of Interaction with Others

Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.  (Prov. 27:17 ESV)

 

Strife

It is an honor for a man to keep aloof from strife, but every fool will be quarreling. (Prov. 20:3 ESV)


As charcoal to hot embers and wood to fire, so is a quarrelsome man for kindling strife. (Prov. 26:21 ESV)


Do not contend with a man for no reason, when he has done you no harm. (Prov. 3:30 ESV)

 

 

Offenses

Whoever covers an offense seeks love, but he who repeats a matter separates close friends. (Prov. 17:9 ESV)


Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense. (Prov. 19:11 ESV)

 

A brother offended is more unyielding than a strong city, and quarreling is like the bars of a castle. (Prov. 18:19 ESV)

 

Correction

Whoever corrects a scoffer gets himself abuse, and he who reproves a wicked man incurs injury. 8 Do not reprove a scoffer, or he will hate you; reprove a wise man, and he will love you.  (Prov. 9:7-8 ESV)


Faithful are the wounds of a friend; profuse are the kisses of an enemy. (Prov. 27:6 ESV)

 

Kindness

A man who is kind benefits himself, but a cruel man hurts himself. (Prov. 11:17 ESV)


Whoever belittles his neighbor lacks sense, but a man of understanding remains silent.  (Prov. 11:13 ESV)

 

The Hospitality of Others

Let your foot be seldom in your neighbor's house, lest he have his fill of you and hate you. (Prov. 25:17 ESV)

 

Ministering to Those with a Heavy Heart

Whoever sings songs to a heavy heart is like one who takes off a garment on a cold day, and like vinegar on soda. (Prov. 25:20 ESV)

 

In Trouble with a Neighbor

My son, if you have put up security for your neighbor, have given your pledge for a stranger, if you are snared in the words of your mouth, caught in the words of your mouth, then do this, my son, and save yourself, for you have come into the hand of your neighbor: go, hasten, and plead urgently with your neighbor. Give your eyes no sleep and your eyelids no slumber; save yourself like a gazelle from the hand of the hunter, like a bird from the hand of the fowler.  (Prov. 6:1-5 ESV)

 

Fearing Man

The fear of man lays a snare, but whoever trusts in the LORD is safe. (Prov. 29:25 ESV)


 

 

Stephen Duarte (ME, National University; MTS, Reformed Baptist Seminary) is a pastor at Parkside Bible Fellowship in Fallon, NV. He is husband to Debbie and father of three.

 

Note: The views expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of other contributors on this site.

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